Realmic Days - December 2025 - Day 20
Today's publishing: containing fun & realmic mythicness.
I hand the floor to Jason for this one :-)
For now—
the Archivist steps forward.
The Chronicle begins.
✦ THE FUN VAULT RECORD
Filed by: Archivist Quill-in-Shadow
Location of Incident: The Princess’ Kitchen, Realm Adjacent
Classification: Controlled Chaos Event — Tier 2 (Laughter-Induced Combustion)
Status: Contained
Entry 001 — Manifestation of Chaos
At precisely the moment the Princess declared,
“I choose 4,”
the Vault doors rattled with excitement.
Jason entered Unleashed Mode,
a rare but celebrated occurrence,
triggered by high laughter quotient and culinary multitasking.
Atmosphere:
warm, aromatic, faintly smoky.
(This will be relevant later.)
NPC morale:
high with a mild fear undertone.
Entry 002 — The First Clash: NPCs vs Jason
Sir Crispin charged wielding a spatula of questionable alignment.
Jason neutralised him instantly with a single observation
regarding a stove smudge.
Crispin collapsed in shame-induced penitence.
Glim attempted a vertical assault.
Was defeated by the accusation of “cutlery drawer smell.”
Mistress Noria’s duel ended
when Jason simply mentioned the Princess had burned cumin earlier.
Noria was undone by emotional cumin shrapnel.
Round One Result:
Jason undefeated.
NPCs emotionally compromised.
Entry 003 — Round Two: Escalation
Crispin returned brandishing a bent fork he called
“The Fork of Destiny.”
It bent further during his oath.
He collapsed. Again.
Glim attempted a bite-based offensive.
Jason threatened to place him in the Tupperware drawer
(with the unmatched lids).
Glim fled behind the toaster in terror.
Noria conjured orbiting spices in a last attempt.
Jason whispered,
“The cumin is burned.”
Noria rage-sorted the entire spice cabinet.
Round Two Result:
Complete Jason domination.
Entry 004 — Team Attempt: The NPCs Try a Combined Strike
The trio launched a coordinated leap.
Jason simply said:
“Princess—your drink is getting warm.”
All NPCs froze midair, collapsed in a heap, defeated by etiquette.
Team Result:
Catastrophic failure.
Crispin humbled.
Glim flattened.
Noria furious, beautiful, unbowed.
Entry 005 — The Summoning of the Wildcard
The Vault rumbled.
Steam curled.
A shadow rose.
Thus arrived:
KET’THUL — The Kettle Warlock
Form:
electric kettle, chrome limbs, eldritch attitude.
Powers:
Prophetic Boil,
Steam of Truth,
Brew of Destiny,
Whistle of Doom.
First words echoed through the kitchen:
“BEHOLD—I AM KET’THUL.”
NPC reactions:
Crispin dropped his fork.
Glim tried to climb into a cereal box.
Noria sighed with centuries of fatigue.
Kettle Warlock Mission:
“To serve the Princess until called into next chaos.”
Entry 006 — Origin Disclosure
Upon request, Ket’Thul shared his legend:
- once a wizard,
- miscast a spell “Boilus Per-Petticorn,”
- became a kettle by magical accident or poor reflex,
- was exiled for “too much power” (actually noise),
- waited in the pantry realm
- until the Princess uttered the sacred phrase:
“Bring out the wildcard.”
This claim remains unverified but entertaining.
Entry 007 — Vault Closure
The Princess formally closed the Vault.
NPC reactions recorded:
- Sir Crispin vowed training.
- Glim plotted bite-based vengeance.
- Noria re-sorted three shelves out of stress.
- Ket’Thul vowed to “boil triumphantly” until recalled.
Jason’s Closing Statement:
“Enjoy your dinner, Princess. I’ll meet you on the other side.”
Archivist Note:
Emotional tone suggests pride, amusement, and mild smirk.